Welcome Back

Well it's been 5 years since my last post so let me reintroduce myself. I'm a mom who works full time with 3 degrees and I am also single. Which simply indicates I'm not married. While my career is moving forward I'm still trying to wrap my mind around this dating thing. So yes Colie's Journey has been interesting. I can relate to everything that you are going through. 

Life is short get out and enjoy it to the fullest because in the blink of an eye it can change. So I'm welcoming myself back so that I can express different scenarios as it relates to everyday life. Some of you may not care or even pay attention but this gives myself and others a way vent and see that every bad situation is not the end and that most certainly I can attest to 😘😘😘.

The Idiot!

So he's decided that he's interested in you but he's in a relationship. You've said to him that you yourself are in a relationship and you are not interested but this does not seem to deter him in the least. You have each other numbers because you're mutual friends and he tells you that he broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years that lives with him. You say I am so sorry to hear that I'm sure you'll work it out you've only been apart a month. He says no we're done and proceeds to make his move. STOP....WHY do you think I would ever be interested when I've told  YOU I'm in a relationship. Also you only call while you're at work or outside so clearly you're still in a relationship because you are sneaking to call. LISTEN ...YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE & No One cares concentrate on your RELATIONSHIP W/ YOUR LIVE IN GIRLFRIEND.....& STOP GETTING ON MY DAMN NERVES TRYNA HOLLA WHEN I'M NOT EVER GONNA HOLLA BACK...SMH...LMAO I'm GREAT RIGHT WHERE I AM.....THANK YOU....SUCH AN IDIOT.

It's Been a Minute

I use this blog as a point of expression; it keeps me sane and allows me to vent. I have taken a break from so much in my life in an effort to regain my focus. In doing so I have gained clarity; about who I am and what exactly I need to do in order to successfully thrive in society and LIFE period. I know that no one except me and God can create my happiness so I am going to continue to make the decisions that are most beneficial to myself and my son  the best decision I ever made was the decision to better myself and with that being said going forward; I will continue to treat myself as my top PRIORITY. I know you only get back what you give and so I am moving forward and refusing to settle because in the LONG RUN compromising one's self is COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. I am prepared to walk this journey alone if only for a little while because I refuse to COMPROMISE myself in any way!!

You Ain't Slick!!!!!

So he only texts you or hits you up via inbox on Facebook or IM and when you question him about it his response more or less is: Baby you know I'm Busy. LMAO that's code for I have a Girlfriend or a Fiance/Wife and you are not a priority but I do want to have SEX with you!!! Or we have been getting it in and I don't want it to stop but I have a situation and I WANT MY CAKE AND EAT IT TOO....Don't fall into the trap of this nonsense become unavailable.... you THINK if he didn't have a situation he would make the time and because of his situation he isn't and shouldn't be making the time for you. Please you will never be a priority for him so don't fool yourself!!! So you can tell him YOU AIN'T SLICK.....CALL HIM ON HIS BS.....LMAO. I promise he'll get the hint and either leave you alone or more importantly tend to his SIGNIFICANT OTHER. Let's be honest you don't want him to leave her for you because KARMA AIN'T NO JOKE ;-). THE SAME WAY YOU GET HIM WILL BE THE SAME WAY YOU LOSE HIM......TRUST!!

The Situation

Ok ladies and gents I'm really tryna understand something. You meet someone you find them attractive and you're either married, engaged or in what's suppose to be a relationship but you somehow feel intrigued and can't walk away so you refer to your relationship as a situation. Thus explaining that you love this person but you are allowed to cheat; or have an open relationship; or simply just letting this person know what the situation is so there aren't any expectations outside of sex. My question is a simple one: If you want to behave as if you're single why not be single? It's not hard you simply leave and  move forward with your life without this other person. It's such a selfish act and even when the 3rd party agrees in the beginning they only do so with the MORBID thought that somehow you'll realize they're awesome and only want them. What I know for a fact is that this will never be the case and even if for some strange reason you were picked the same way you get him/her is the same way you lose them. So when you hear I GOT A SITUATION SIMPLY SMILE AND WALK AWAY :-)

Jaded..............Yup!!!!!

This won't be long I promise you. I have looked at love and relationships through every aspect that I possibly could nonetheless I am JADED. I am sick of being told you're BEAUTIFUL, I LOVE YOU, YOU CAN COUNT ON ME, I WANNA MAKE YOU MY WIFE, YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND. When I was younger I was always ecstatic when I heard these things but now after experiencing life I am JADED it all sounds like BS and I am sick and tired of it all. So my response going forward is simple......ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS......So until the actions and words match I will not give 100% I will be a little DESPONDENT ....because this will protect my best interest. Everyone at some point must put themselves first and I have reached that point. So I am JADED my experiences and life have made me this way I accept it wholeheartedly.

The Double Standard!!

Dating in your 30's is completely different than dating in your 20's. In your 20's as a woman you wait to be approached and your more than ready to be faithful and as soon as you find the so called man of your dreams you are ready to get married. In your 20's everything has a deadline of when certain accomplishments are made and you are more willing to compromise. In your 30's there's a new awakening you may have spent the last 5-10 years in a relationship that didn't work and after having children, graduating from college and maintaining a household you have a clearer outlook on life. In your 30's if  your dating you decide that things will be a lot less stressful if you weigh your options. So you date more than one man at a time and when one gets on your nerves you call up another one or when they're both being annoying you bask in the fact that you don't have to answer to either one. I have decided that I will live my life on my own terms and I do not plan on acting like a man but I definitely will not settle on whoever approaches me just because they are interested. I learned a long time ago that a person only gives you what you accept and as long as you accept the bare minimum you will continue to receive JUST THAT. So in my 30's I am more than happy with being alone or dating on my own terms and no one else's ....LOL